The Quiet Struggle For Boys

Written by Helenor Gilmour, Director of Insight – Beano Brain.  

For years, girl power has taken the spotlight - rightly so. But as the world celebrates rising female voices, many are beginning to ask the uncomfortable question: where does that leave our boys? 

I lost my brother when he was just 14. He died 18 years later, but his life path was determined by the passing of our mother when he was that young teen, and everything changed. His story, his life path, was reshaped in that moment. And watching Netflix’s Adolescence brought it all crashing back, because despite the years, not enough has changed. 

We’ve done important work in celebrating our girls, smashing glass ceilings, encouraging confidence, and pushing for inclusion. But somewhere along the way, we stopped noticing the quiet struggle of boys. 

And that silence is speaking volumes. 

A Quiet Crisis? 

Today’s boys are growing up in a system that often doesn’t see them, or worse, sees them as part of the problem. They're navigating school environments that prioritise traditionally feminine traits and offer little validation for their own strengths. 

They’re absorbing online narratives that tap into their confusion, frustration, and lack of representation. And all too often, they’re being caricatured as the “problem child” or the “future threat,” not as children who are equally in need of care, support, and understanding. 

If we flipped the media portrayals (if girls were seen the way boys are) would we be okay with it? Would we laugh if Barbie was clueless and Ken knew everything? 

Where Are the Role Models? 

As girls surge ahead in university admissions, career aspirations, and cultural narratives, it’s worth asking: Why aren’t boys keeping up?  

Why do we applaud one group’s progress without asking why the other is falling behind? Equality should be just that, equal. Not one up, one down. Not empowerment at the cost of empathy. 

Where Are the Mentors? 

I’ve raised both a boy and a girl into adulthood, and whilst the challenges for girls are undeniable, boys face a different but equally difficult set of challenges. Their ‘bad behaviour’ can mask deep vulnerability.   

I’ve tried to ‘save’ my brother in the years since he passed, through volunteering and mentorship with teens suffering from adverse childhood experiences.  And I’d urge anyone to do the same, especially some of the very many good men out there.   

It isn’t a Choice Between Boys and Girls 

True equality means lifting everyone. We can’t protect and empower girls without doing the same for boys. And if we really want to understand Gen Alpha, we need to pay attention to all their stories. Because if Adolescence taught us anything, it’s this: being a teen today is tough, no matter your gender. But being a boy who feels invisible? That’s something we can’t afford to ignore any longer.